Second Chances Rpg

Who: Peter Quill, Gamora, and Groot
What: Groot tells his parents why he's a badass
Where: By the firepit on the roof
When: Backdated to the day after Groot and Lacey's Big Adventure
Status: Complete
Notes/Warnings: Groot in translation inside []. There was a point where I gave up on writing the "I am groots" so it went to all translation. This one is relatively clean, language-wise, but Grootski has seen and heard some things a toddler maybe shouldn't.



Peter sat in front of the ship, kicked back in one of the comfortable chairs that Pepper had had sent up to the roof. The autumn sun streamed down on them, and while Peter had both blasters within arm's reach, he felt relatively relaxed.

Groot sat on his knee looking as if he was positively vibrating. Peter patted the sapling's back, "Buddy, what's up, man. You got something you want to talk about."

“Iamgrootiamgrootiamgrootiamgrooooooooooot”
[Dad Dad Dad, my bestest friend Lacey and I are fuckin’ badasses. Wanna know why?]

Groot looked over his dad’s shoulder, trying to decide whether to wait for his mom. He wanted her to hear his badass story too but knew she'd tell him he couldn't swear.

"Dude, of course I want to know why." Peter grinned at the little tree as he tried to remember who 'Lacey' was.

Gamora came out of the ship, pausing on the ramp to watch her boys together. Things had been so different the first time Groot was little, that she didn’t think she had a chance to appreciate moments like this. It was easy to forget, because they’re lives were so crazy, that Peter actually did the dad thing really well….

She forced herself to not follow that train of thought, and stepped off the ship. She handed Peter a beer, and sat down in another of the lounge chairs, sipping on the fruity drink that either Mantis or Drax had stocked in their galley.

“I am groot. I am groot Iamgroot, I AmGroot. I am gr-”
[There was this cute furry guy running around Lace’s house, trying to be f-]

Groot gave his mom a side eye.

“Groot. I am grootiamgrootIAMGROOT I am Groot. I AmGroot I am groot Iamgroot IAM groot. I am….”
[Frickin’ cuter than me. But Lace’s mom fed it a snack, and then it went all CREEPY mean monster. And then….]

"Little man, no one is cuter than you, that furry little f-," Peter looked up at Gamora and continued, "jerk was just trying to mess with you." He popped the top off the beer, took a swig and looked at Gamora appreciatively.

"Do you know who Lace is?" Peter asked.

Gamora couldn’t help but smile at Peter trying to clean up his language. Especially since it was clear that just telling Groot he couldn’t swear worked about as well as telling a Krylorian to not be perky and vapid. “Gert’s dinosaur,” she answered, “They’re best friends now, remember?”
“And then what, sprout?” she asked Groot.

“I am Groot. I AmGrootI am groot Iamgroot, I AmGroot. Iamgrootiamgrootiamgroot. I am grootiamgrootIAMGROOT I am Groot I am….”
[And then it hissed and snapped at Lace’s mom, and ran away! I told Lacey that it is our job to guard the galaxy and that means especially moms. Except my mom, because she can kill EVERYTHING! So we chased it. And then…]

Groot's voice sped up and he bounced up and down like he was riding on Old Lace’s back as he started to get into the story.

Peter couldn't help but be proud, he wasn't sure how much of the story was true and how much was the result of an overactive floral imagination, but the fact that Groot already knew that they had a duty to guard the galaxy made him beam. It made him feel as if they were doing something right. Yondu would eat this shit up, Peter thought, wishing more than anything that he could tell his Daddy what an amazing family he had.

He held out his hand for a high five and got one in return, "Dude, I'm so proud of you. You totally need to protect people's mom's." He reached out and took Gamora's hand, "Your mom doesn't need protecting, but we still need to watch her six, you know what I mean?"

Groot rolled his little eyes.
“Iamgroot, Iam GROOT I am groot iamGroot!”
[DAD, you do a LOT of looking at mom’s ass already!]

Gamora snorted, trying to hold back laughter. She didn’t even bother to correct his language, just smirked at Peter. “I mean, he’s not wrong.”

Peter shrugged, "Little man, someday you are going to find a willow or a birch and you are gonna' understand the attraction."

“Iamgroot IAM groot? I am GROOT. Iamgroot, I AmGroot. Iamgroot, I am groot Iam GROOT I am groot iamGroot? I am groot I am Groot.”
[Ewww dad, LISTEN okay? And then it had FRIENDS. And we did battle with them. I lassoed the first one with my vines like a boss and Lacey ATE IT. Isn’t that weird? It smelled like yuck but she said it was yummy.]

She had actually said ‘fucking yummy’ but Groot didn’t want his mom to get all sidetracked by details like swear words. This story was IMPORTANT.

Gamora caught Peter’s eye. It felt like they hadn’t had a moment to actually relax in a while, and even now she couldn’t completely, because the portal could spit out another crazy monster on their heads at any moment. But, her boys were adorable right now. “Do you think this is real?” she mouthed at Peter.
"Man. sounds like you were kicking names and taking ass," Peter shrugged and mouthed, "No fucking clue? Maybe?"

He reached out and gave the little guy a pat on the back, "Good job, man. I'm proud of you. Sounds like you and your friend made a great team."

[Daddaddad,] Groot shook his head.

[That’s not the whole story. You gotta listen. Then I stabbed this one that still looked fluffy with a vine sword. Mom, did you know I can make vineswords, and remember when you sliced open that monster for the gold people? I sliced it just like that. Because dad, you don’t have a sword, so I had to be like mom this time. I’m a badass, right mom?]

“Wow, Sprout, how about tomorrow you can show me how you make a sword and we can practice together?” Gamora couldn’t decide if badass was a word they should tell him he was too small to say or not. She didn’t think it was actually swearing, more of an accurate descriptor.

"That's right, Groot. Daddy's thing is guns. Mommy's thing is swords. Sometimes, Mommy uses guns, and that's totally okay….it's just that Daddy's thing is guns." Peter grinned at Gamora, reached over and took her hand, pressing a kiss into her palm before he looked back to the earnest little tree.

He took another drink of his beer and leaned over to kiss Gamora lightly, loving the way that the sunlight caught in her hair and made her silvery mods sparkle.

Gamora set her drink down on the arm of the chair and got up, picking up Groot and sliding into Peter’s lap. She settled Groot on her leg. “Don’t tell Dad okay, but some people can have more than one thing. Your thing can be swords and guns and vines if you want it to, because you’re a badass.”

Groot knew the signs of his parents. First they’d cuddle with him, but pretty soon his dad’s hands would be touching his mom’s leg like he was trying to get to her underwear. And then they’d go all kissyface. And then he’d have to watch a movie so they could play grownups in their bedroom. He needed to finish this story before that happened, so they knew all the coolest parts.

[MomMomMomMom, I told Lace that she needs pervy parents like mine, because she has GertMom but she does not have a dad, so there is nobody to kiss her mom or look at her ass or take her clothes off so she has to tell Lacey to knock like you do. Don’t you think that’s what she needs? I also told her Daddy has lots of sharp pointy things in a metal box and we found a metal box in the car room and it had slingshot balls in it so i slingshotted them at the monsterbabies with my vines until they were all DEFEATED.]

“Peter, who told our child that we’re pervy?” Gamora asked, but Groot thought she sounded like she was going to laugh.

Holy shit, I hope no one else ever learns Groot. For fuck's sake, Peter thought as he listened to the story and wondered if Groot and Old Lace had actually gone ham in a garage full of cars worth millions. His brow's furrowed a little as he processed the rest of the Groot's story.
I thought we were pretty fucking discreet. Holy shit.

"Groot, where did you learn the word pervy? We aren't pervy, my daddy, Yondu, he was a pervy dude. I love your Momora. Big difference, bud."

Peter adjusted Gamora in his lap so he could hold her closer, he whispered, "Babe, I think we need to talk to the babysitter. Because damn…."

Groot leaned against Gamora’s arm so he could look up at them. He liked having parents, but they were a lot of work. They were pretty lucky they had him to explain things to them.

[Dad, Grandpa Yondu is the one who told me about pervy. It’s when you want to grownup touch someone all the time. You definitely like to grownup touch Mom. He’s your dad so you gotta listen to what he says, right? I was trying to help Grandpa Yondu find the head thing for his arrow, when he babysitted me and Rocket. Only he was not good at explaining stuff AT ALL. I heard him tell Rocket that he couldn’t have his grownup touch robot girl and that it was for when you’re lonely and he was going to leave it to you. Mom, did you stop making Dad be lonely so he wouldn’t bring Grandpa Yondu’s robot on our ship? Dad, I saw her, she was not pretty like Mom. My slingshot balls were just like Grandpa Yondu’s arrow, he killed ALL the guys who were mean to me, just like I killed all the babymonsters who were mean to Lacey’s mom. Grandpa Yondu called me Twig, remember Dad?]

Peter felt his throat thicken, "I remember, bud. You were such a badass. My daddy loved you so much." He felt that the topic of Beavis, Yondu's Fellatia 5000 was one he had zero interest in discussing with Groot.

It occurred to him that for a "pretend" story this one was oddly specific, "Little man, where did you use the slingshot balls, again?"

[In the car room downstairs, Dad. Momora says I gotta listen better, I think you do too.]

Gamora gave Peter a look. She had left Rocket with one job when they went to Ego. “Some days I really hope Rocket shows up so I can kill him,”. Decisions on sex and mass murder education should really have been left to them. Although, she realized that this was another thing that had never been discussed among the Guardians. Groot has called her Mom, but there was never a discussion about how parenting was going to go or even who had the ultimate say if the four of them disagreed. They had just each done their own thing.

“Wait, you mean the garage? The room with all Mr. Stark’s expensive sports cars parked in it?”

Peter looked at Groot, "Little man, remember when we talked about collateral damage?" He looked at Gamora and mouthed, “Oh. Shit.”